Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Eating Crappiness

I purposefully don't write negative things about restaurants that I have been to or food that I have tried, because I believe that if I don't have anything nice to say then I won't say anything at all. I don't sacrifice my journalistic integrity by writing things that I do not believe, so if I do not like something then I will not write about it. I am not going to pretend like some classically trained chef or food critic, so I am not going to be a pretentious D bag and pretend to be. This is why I named this blog Eating Awesomeness, because I just want to record the awesome travel and food experiences that I have. But then Taco Bell went and created the Doritos Locos Taco Truck!
When Taco Bell first came out with the Doritos Locos Taco, I cringed. This is exactly what is wrong with America! You take an item that is already one of the worst and unhealthy items on any menu in America, that is filled with beef flavoured meat product (the meat version of government cheese), and adding even more salt to it. An Aussie mate of mine, who ironically used to tell me how American foods were ridiculously salty, tried and tried to get me to try it. Then at MLB All-Star Fan Fest, after stealing a base as Alex Gordon on a base stealing simulator, I was handed a coupon for a free Doritos Locos Taco (with the purchase of a medium drink). I figured that I would buy a medium soft drink anyway, no matter where I went for lunch, so I decided to finally give this God forsaken thing a try.

It was just as I thought, pure crap! I forgot that Taco Bell's taco shells crack and fall apart in your hand, no matter how you hold it. Quantifying above claim about Taco Bell's "taco meat filling" here: . The shredded cheese on top was just terrible. Everything about this thing made me hate it even more. Salt is a key seasoning in cooking, but adding more salt doesn't substitute for lack of taste.

All of that was par for the course, typical fast food crap, but I was going to allow that to be water under the bridge until I saw the Taco Bell Doritos Locos Taco Truck during the MLB All-Star game handing out Doritos Locos Tacos. This made me sick! Never again will I spend my money at Taco Bell. It is not enough to have a crappy Ken-Taco Hut on every other street corner, and you spread your Spanglish motto of "live mas", but you have to encroach on one of the only things that young entrepreneurs, foodies, and aspiring chefs have left: FOOD TRUCKS! This is just another case of the rich trying to get richer and kill a small fledgling market before it even has a chance to spread its wings. This is like Microsoft buying up smaller software companies that offer superior products, then shelving those superior products so that everyone has to keep using Office Suite! This is like what was happening in America at the turn of the century when the large companies were taking advantage of workers, which drove the push for workers to unionize. Food trucks are already unionizing with organized events, such as NYC Food Truck Association, the Truck Stop in Kansas City, and food truck trackers (such as Truckily).

Taco Bell is not alone in what appears to be a wave of fast food chains taking to the truck. I read an article about Chick-Fil-A earlier today: . This is unacceptable and we much push back! Food trucks are for the people, by the people, that have amazing innovative ideas and want to bring them to the aforementioned "people". My ideals are Libertarian enough that I am usually fine with people doing whatever they please, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. But this does hurt a whole movement. Taco Bell and Chick-Fil-A, I greet you to the food truck world with an ice cold Kansas City "BOOOO!", circa Robinson Cano's Home Run Derby collapse.

I urge everyone to get out to their local food truck, and support a hard working local chef. Eat, Drink, and Buy Local! Sorry for the rant, but this makes me really mad and I had to get that off of my chest!

This is not a taco truck!

This is a taco truck!

Taco Bell on Urbanspoon


  1. Although I agree that I do not like The idea of these huge companies using food trucks, I say bring it, and hopefully The general public will choose correctly. Eventually we will see these nifty trucks on craigslist or Ebay selling really cheap once they realize it is not as easy as it looks to run a mobile kitchen.

  2. We Americans are free to make poor choices, and "Yum! Brands, Inc" is one corporate giant frequently benefitted by this fact. This is a gimmick. A big corporation trying to capitalize on a grass-roots phenomenon. This is what big corporations do. They are, by nature, too collectively slow, lumbering and dull to be inventive. They wait for the risk-taking entrepreneurs to enjoy a modicum of success, and then they steal the idea.
    However, there are a growing minority of Americans who care about the quality of the food they put into their bodies. And a growing minority of Americans who choose to vote with their dollars for the local innovators, like Mr. Bermudez, over the slick corporate behemoths.
    I am proud to be in that awakening minority.

  3. Adrian, I do hope you are right. But in the event that these things do end up getting bought by prospective food truckers, I doubt that little food prep is being done on these trucks, I believe these are more like Fedex trucks with a window than true mobile eatery. That being said, Eating Sadness may have been a better title for this blog post.

    Duane, thank you for your comments. I agree with you 100%. I will do my part to keep growing that minority.